don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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