Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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