When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
