I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
