he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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