So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
