Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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