Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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