he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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