Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
