did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize