Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
