One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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