i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
