i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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