i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my being single is dangerous.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He did a backflip because drugs
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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