she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize