Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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