Where did you get a picture of my penis
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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