how can u be prego again
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
