Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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