when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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