I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
