I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need moral support for this bender
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
