whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
