So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
