Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
