garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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