At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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