I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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