I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
