Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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