i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
