Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
