we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
