Porn is love you can see.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
