is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
