Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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