i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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