My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
