dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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