Just cropdusted the office
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
