Im at strip club and am horny
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
