i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
