so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
