I want to stick my p in your. b.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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