it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
