i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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