I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize