Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
