we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize