i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
