Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You're like the curious george of whores
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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