OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
