So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
