Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize