So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
