Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
