TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
