I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
