So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize