Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
