Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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