it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dear god my vagina.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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