Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
